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Our 1 Year Wedding Anniversary!

Wow, can it be true?! 1 year has come and gone since our wedding?! NO.WAY.

That day was the best day of my life. I’m sure you guys know that already, though. Especially from my 6 month post. But hey, I’m a proud wifi (as Charlie likes to call me)! What can I say. 😛

So much has changed since then but one thing remains the same: my love for my husband. It grows with leaps and bounds every day. He is an amazing man, a wonderful husband, my rock, and my everything. I would do anything for him if I knew it would make him happy (Charlie, this does not mean you can ask me to sit in a room full of birds or something. Within reason please lol!). Our wedding day was a true testament to how much he loves me right back.

Being engaged to someone in the wedding industry isn’t easy, let alone a “type-A-pain-in-the-butt” like myself. Charlie and I were engaged for over 2 years, talk about LONG engagement! And I started planning almost immediately. Yes, it was a long process, we procrastinated on a lot of things, and had to sacrifice more than a lot to have the wedding we (meaning I) always dreamed of. But he went along with it. Everything I wanted, he somehow made it happen (with the help of our wonderful parents and the good Lord).

When I look back on that wonderful day, all the planning, design, meetings, and execution were nothing compared to the love we felt that day. But I must say, the planning, design, meetings, and execution was something to be proud of. 🙂 The rest of October 2011 was filled with this natural high from so much love that we received, it was absolutely overwhelming. It showed me that love and memories are what truly stand the test of time. Love is the most powerful of all and it never fails to continue to show and unfold its layers to me as days pass.

This video says it all. It obviously doesn’t compare to the in-person feeling we all had, but it’s pretty damn close. I’ll never forget, and I’ll be forever grateful. <3

Carissa + Charlie | Same Day Edit from Loyd Calomay on Vimeo.

My rockstar vendors and colleagues for that day:
Ceremony location: Heritage Park, Dana Point, CA
Reception location + Catering: Seven-Degrees, Laguna Beach, CA
Wedding Planners: Sarah Valentin and Debbie Liza De Sagun, CO Creative Cartel
Stationery: CO Creative Cartel
Photography: Ja Tecson Photography
Video and Same Day Edit: Loyd Calomay Films
Cake and Desserts: Ninong’s Pastries & Cafe
Accommodations: Surf and Sand Resort

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Eternity Part 1 and Part 2

I’m sitting here today, the same place I was sitting 365 days ago. 365 days ago, I was with my girls getting ready for the best day of my life. The happiest day of my life to date. I couldn’t even sleep because I was SO. EXCITED. I was excited to marry the man I love, the man I love more than words can ever explain.

If you didn’t already know, I’m a type-A planner. No detail can be overlooked with me. There were to be no surprises at my wedding, if I could control it anyway. But no, Ray wouldn’t let that happen. When I asked him to create a wedding song for Charlie and I, he immediately said yes. He was already doing so much as far as groomsmen duty I was scared he was going to say no. But without hesitation, he gave me his classic “OF COURSE!!” I remember the week leading up the wedding and the week before that Ray, John, Tazzy, and Mel would be at Kevin’s house til 5 am or even sleeping over at Kev’s to get this song done for us. It was a labor of love I will always be thankful for. When they told me they finished it I wanted to hear it! I begged and pleaded with Ray to let me hear it. But he said no, absolutely not. And he wanted me to hear it for the first time for our Same Day Edit that our videographer, Loyd Calomay, was going to release that night at the reception. I tried to trick them, I would try to break into Ray’s computer, I would try to listen to John singing it, but no. They were good. I had no idea what it was going to sound like.

Cut to the day of the wedding. After the ceremony was over, I couldn’t wait to hear it! Loyd was working so hard to get it done. And finally we saw this:

Carissa + Charlie | Same Day Edit from Loyd Calomay on Vimeo.

The song and the video blew me away. I cried like a baby, and laughed out loud all at the same time. I couldn’t believe this was made for us, I was just so grateful…for EVERYTHING.

After the wedding was over, I talked to Ray and realized they wrote that song based on what we wrote on our wedding blog. They took our words and our story and created a song..a beautiful song.

Today I sit here, at the same place. 365 days later, I love this song more and more every time I listen to it. For its words, for the hard work my awesome friends put into it, for the meaning behind it…but its meaning has changed. They told us this song was about us, and now I realize, it’s about love. That feeling of love in the song can be transcended into so many types of love. Ray taught us that. He showed us unconditional love, love as a brother, love as a friend, love as a family member..no matter what, he showed what true selfless love was like. The story may be ours: the first verse is about Charlie, the second is about me, but the chorus in between I dedicate to Ray..

Eternity, just you and me
That’s all we need
Eternity..

Luckily for us, there is an Eternity Part II! Inspired by our RayRayAllDay and sung/written by John Mascardo. Such a beautiful song, please enjoy..

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Pressing the Play Button

Ray,

I find myself sitting in front of a blank page here trying to get myself to write something else. Something that doesn’t have to do with me missing you, wishing you were here, trying to picture you in my mind, trying to think about “what would Ray Ray do?” but it’s so hard. I miss you and everything about you. Thanks to our friends, we’re all getting through it together. Some days are easier than others, but we’re all there for each other. I know you would’ve wanted that. Last week was really tough for me specifically. Not sure why, except maybe because we had to face the harsh reality of the live show on Wednesday without you. We were all terrified, I was so heart broken to even be thinking about this. But your family came to the show last week as our special guests, it was so good to have them there. We even got them on the mic! We played “What would you do for a million dollars?” and they came up with some good ones! You’d be so proud, love.

This week, I’m trying to conduct life as normal. I hit the pause button on life for the past 3 weeks. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t work, I couldn’t be alone…all I wanted to do was think about you, be with loved ones, and try to keep from crying. I just wanted to do the bare minimum of what was expected of me. There’s a hole in my heart where your love used to be, and I’ve been trying to fill it back up with all the wonderful memories we’ve had together. You’ve done so much for me, Ray. I wouldn’t be where I am today without your love, support, and belief in me. I keep replaying so many memories in my head when I actually give myself time to think, and there’s one specific one that sticks out in my mind that gets me through this week.

I called you on my way home from work one day like I sometimes do. I called to tell you about the new product that AMN was going to start developing and to tell you how proud I was of you and the Traklife team. It’s sometimes hard for me to talk about emotions but I wanted you to know that day for some reason that you and your team were doing a fabulous job. Erv and I didn’t have to worry about the future of Traklife, you guys hit the ground running. You created something so special with so little direction and it was running itself with very little of my guidance. I was so proud of you and wanted you to know it.

I specifically remember the moment you told me. I was in my car turning onto Lurline in the left turn lane while the sun was beaming on my face. You told me that you were so happy to be part of the fam. You told me that if anyone else had approached you with the idea you would’ve had to take time and think about it more. But because it was Charlie and I, you immediately said yes. You told me that you believed in us and knew that if you had an opportunity to go into business with us you would.

Thank you for that moment, Raymond. Thank you for believing in us. Replaying that memory and remembering your voice helps me continue to press play on life. The times when I don’t want to or don’t know if I can, I’ll always remember you, your optimistic attitude, and you yearn to do the absolute best that you can do. Thank you for being a continuing inspiration for us all. I love you and I miss you.