This blog has been silent for the past couple weeks. I just couldn’t get myself to write anything. I’ve been thinking about why, and I think it’s been because every time I write something it seems to make things concrete, more real. Maybe I just wasn’t ready to face the fact that this is now our reality. See 2 weeks ago, I lost my best friend.
Best friends are so hard to come by. My friend shared with me a metaphor for friendship that has really stuck with me, “Would you have 100 pennies or 4 quarters?” Personally, I want 4 quarters. I’m the type that loves people. I have this want, this passion for connecting with others. I treat my friends like I do my family, something that my mom instilled in me at a young age. As an only child, my friends growing up were like sisters to me. My high school and college friends became family. In 2004, Charlie adopted our first dog Baxter and instantly became part of our family.
Charlie adopted this cutie from the local shelter. I never visited the shelter he was from but Charlie told me that he was the dog that would hide and shiver in the back corner when he saw people walking by. Baxter actually had a brother in the same kennel as him, and you can tell his brother was the alpha dog. This boy needed a home, a home that would love him. So the day after Christmas in 2004, we brought him home.
Baxter wasn’t the friendliest dog when it came to people. He was extremely territorial and protective. But when he knew you weren’t a threat, he was your best friend for life. He loved you with all his heart and would cry for a good 5 minutes whenever you’d come home. He was a healthy dog and aside from his yearly shots we never had to take him to the vet. He loved the finer things in life like a good steak or salmon. He loved a good treat or toy and would cry as he was walking around with it because he loved it so much and didn’t know what to do with it.
He was my best friend. He would comfort me and kiss my tears when he saw me crying. I would talk to him about all kinds of things, as if he could understand the complexities of life. He would keep me company when Charlie wasn’t home. He would lay next to me while I work, watch TV, eat, pretty much as long as I’m home we were inseparable.
At the ripe old age of 15, we had to put him to sleep. I can’t believe it has been 2 weeks since we had to say goodbye. Poor Evee, I feel like she’s been struggling with it the most. She loved Baxter, absolutely adored him. Our family of 4 (Charlie, me, Baxter, and Evee) is now a family of 3 and we’re continuing to adjust as we try to move forward. We’re trying to find what the new daily routine will now be like.
Every day has been a struggle for the past 2 weeks, but every day it gets a little less hard. I can’t really say better, the hurt continues but we try to take it day by day.
I miss you, Baby Boy! You changed our lives for the better, and we had 15 wonderful years with you. I’m glad we were able to give you a home, a family that loved you. I hope we enriched your life as much as you did ours.
xoxo,
