2 very important people in my life share the same birthday. When I realized that they have the same name day I realized they have a lot more in common than just the day they were born.
Ray Ray and my mom were both born on January 8th. They are both extremely loving, caring, and selfless people. They were both very outgoing and social, always the life of the party. They were both determined, hard working, and was everyone’s friend. They were both deeply loved by many, many people and that’s because they cared more about others than they did themselves. They would do anything for the ones they loved.
Happy birthday, Mommy. It is your first birthday in Heaven and I’m sure you’re hosting a huge party! We here on Earth miss you so much. I thinking about you all the time, but especially lately. Things changed so fast last year I think it almost took me a year to even digest what happened and I replay the month of January over and over in my mind. From your birthday, to going to the hospital, to your very last day at home. It’s all a recent memory that I will never ever forget. Nor will I ever let go. I love you and miss you every day. I wish you were here with us in the Philippines. This was the trip that you wanted us to take. To be here together, as a family. Eating lots of food, seeing the sights, and experiencing new places. I’m sad that we never got to take this trip together. It was partially our fault, for continuing to put it off because we had “things to take care of.” But I know you are here with us, and you are happy we finally made it. Please continue to watch over me and guide me, Mom, love you.
Happy birthday Raymundo! I can’t believed you’ve celebrated 4 birthdays in Heaven. I miss you so much, especially when the holidays come around. When we all get together for Thanksgiving and Christmas it’s just not the same without you. But hey, you know that. 🙂 The party always starts when you walk in the door.
To my beautiful guardian angels watching over us from above, happy birthday. Even though you may not be here with us anymore, your spirit lives on through all the lives you touched and all the people you encountered.
It’s been a long while since I’ve written to you (actually, it’s been a while since I’ve written on this blog at all). This year, your absence has hit me right where it hurts. Charlie, Carlo, and I had a long conversation about you last weekend. You just came up in conversation randomly. I told them about my dreams of you, we reminisced about memories of you, and we talked about how you changed our lives forever. I actually admitted that though I have many vivid memories of our times together that your face is beginning to fade in my mind. And it made me sad to think that was possible. Though I cling on to our laughs, cries, happiness, and sad moments as tightly as I can the image of your face isn’t as clear as it used to be. But your loving spirit is as clear as day.
Today, I see your face all over Facebook and Instagram and remember how handsome you are. How could I ever forget that face?! I remember how hard it was to get you to smile that signature smile of yours because you always wanted to make a funny face to the camera. Look at that smile! It lights up a room!
And I love how most of your friends and family picked those silly photos of you. The funny faces show your true character, the guy we love so much.
I reminds me that a lot of us aren’t as afraid of being so silly thanks to you. You accepted all of us and loved us for who we truly are. Even with faults and short comings, you loved us unconditionally. Thank you for that, especially when we needed it the most.
I love and miss you Ray. More than words can ever express. As life milestones pass us by I can’t help but wish you were here to see them happen. But I always forget that you are with us, you’re with all of us.
The only thing I can think of saying now is the last words I said to you, “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
I can’t believe it’s been almost 1 year since you’ve moved on from this world. I miss you so much. I’m not sure if it was just me, but I thought it would get easier as time went on. I thought that time would help heal. But I was wrong. Time hasn’t healed, it hasn’t gotten easier. In fact, the saying, “Distance only makes the heart grow fonder” really is true. But Ray, the distance grows more and more. And I hate that. It makes me sad that I let myself get too busy to even have a moment to just be, reminisce, and remember. But lately, you’ve been in my mind every single second of every day. So many times I find myself in tears thinking about you.
Ray, I had a dream about your 1st Ray of Hope Benefit Kuya Jay threw for you. When you were on stage performing, you were a natural. All us girls were screaming at the top of our lungs for you! It was the most amazing thing to see you up there. The passion you have for things that you want to pursue is so inspirational. You continue to be an inspiration to us all, and we want to keep your loving spirit alive.
You’ve inspired your AMN family to continue your Ray of Hope Benefit the Friday before your 1 year anniversary. I’m so scared Ray. I’m so nervous and scared. I want this to benefit to be a success. We made a scary goal of
raising $10,000 for City of Hope. But I believe in this goal. I believe we can do it. But I’m so scared. I want this event to be a reflection of your positivity, passion, and love. I want it to be a chance for all your family and friends to reconnect to remember a time when your love bound us all together. I want to make a difference in lives just like you did. I just want to make you proud.
Help guide us, Ray. In a world like this, we need to remember your love and passion more than ever.