Having self confidence is one of the hardest things for me. Looking back I don’t think I’ve ever felt happy with my abilities or appearance. I’ve struggled with always thinking I wasn’t enough. Wishing I was walking in someone else’s shoes. Today is no different but I fight to see that I have something to offer. That being me is good enough, maybe even great.
Life is hard. There are so many things out there that crush your spirits and rid you of your self esteem. And we all have to admit, some days it defeats us and other days we’re victorious.
We live in a day where we are at the mercy of our own self esteem. Social media has us at its teet seeking approval from others on the Internet or otherwise sharing what we normally wouldn’t while hiding behind a computer screen. Computers and mobile devices have changed the way we now communicate with others. People are losing personal interaction, eye contact, and would rather see what others are accomplishing or doing instead of being in the moment.
It’s not that I hate social media, don’t get me wrong. It’s great for business and I love being able to see what friends and family are up to – especially the ones that are far away or the old friends I have from elementary school and high school. That is special. Being able to know they are living their lives is comforting. But it all has its limits.
These last few months some things have happened that has changed my perspective on the world. It has taken my self esteem down a peg or two because it has reminded me that I can’t fix everything. And though that shouldn’t effect my self esteem it does cuz I’m a problem solver. I can’t solve this problem it makes me feel absolutely horrible. Social media doesn’t help with all this.
What I have learned because of this situation is that I want to be present in the present. I do not and cannot live in the “what if” any longer. It has grounded me in my own humbleness and is helping me with the idea that I am who I am. It reminds me there is no point in wishing to be in a different place or wishing I was dealt different cards in life. I am here and I am alive in this moment and I’m going to make sure I live it.
Just a short 10 years ago I had a quote that defined my life, “I am who I am, and that’s all I want to be.” Somewhere down the line I lost that. I went back to my young adolescent self that was so unsure of herself and wanted everyone to like her. But as days go by, I am reminded that today this is who I am. Whether that be broken or put together. And that’s ok.